change, and interrupting

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
~ Advice

With a stop light, green means "go" and yellow means "slow down". With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means "go", green means "whoa, slow down" and red means "where the heck did you get that banana?"
~ Mitch Hedberg

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
~ Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

What goals should we pursue?

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

- Mitch Hedberg

To minimize suffering and to maximize security were natural and proper ends of society and Caesar. But then they became the only ends, somehow, and the only basis of law — a perversion. Inevitably, then, in seeking only them, we found only their opposites: maximum suffering and minimum security.

~ Walter M. Miller, Jr.

Chasing Your Dreams?

I'm tired of chasing my dreams, so I'm just going to ask 'em where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

~ Mitch Hedberg