~ Malcolm Forbes
Leadership is action, not position.
~ Donald H. McGannon
A court is a place where what was confused before becomes more unsettled than ever.
~ Henry Waldorf Francis
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Lessening, Leadership, Courts
Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are.
~ Malcolm Forbes
~ Malcolm Forbes
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This past weekend, I met my dad for the fourth time in my life. I met him for the first time when I was 21 and the last three times have been in the past six months. During this brief time, we've had a chance to get to know each other better, and even though he seems to be a generally happy person, there seems to be some old scores and scars that still haunt him to this day.
This past weekend, once we got past the trivialities, he began to express his regrets for not having done for me what a father should have done for his son. I told him that I appreciated his position, but there was no need for him to carry the burden of regrets any longer. I assured him that I forgave him for it a long time ago. After all, I am fairly happy myself. And besides, no matter how much regret he has, he can't change the past. Instead, we should be joyful that we have a relationship now and thankful that we have time now to get to know each other and become greater than who we were.
It is both sad and happy to see an old man cry. It's sad because I thought about the years that he had been carrying around that burden when I could have easily relieved him of at least some of that burden, had he only sought me out sooner. But it was happy, because I was able to help him do something that he could not have done by himself. Without my help, he might have carried that burden with him to his grave.
Like him, I have scars and regrets too that I wish I could dispense with all by myself, but I am hopeful that one day I too will be afforded the opportunity to forgive and be forgiven – hopefully long before I become an old man. But until then, I’ll try to be a friend to others, increasing their joys, and helping relieve them of their burdens.
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